there is a pleasure in the slight tremor of the heart that this fantasy has awakened

October 11th [1839], past 4 PM.

Did my Dove fly in with me in my chamber when i entered just now? It so, let her make herself manifest to me this very moment, for my heart needs her presence. You are not here dearest. 1 sit writing in the middle of the chamber, opposite the looking-glass; and as soon as I finish this sentence, I shall look therein and really I have something like a shadowy notion, that I shall behold mine own white Dove peeping over my shoulder. One moment nore I defer the experiment as long as possible, because there is a pleasure in the slight tremor of the heart that this fantasy has awakened. Dear est, if you can make me sensible of your presence, do it now! Oh, naughty, naughty Dove! I have looked, and saw nothing but my own dark face and beetle-brow. How could you disappoint me so? Or is it merely the defect in my own eyes, which cannot behold the spiritual? My inward eye can behold you, though but dimly. Perhaps, beloved wife, you did not come when I called, because you mistook the locality whence, the call proceeded. You are to know, then, that I have removed from my old apartment, which was wanted as a parlor by Mr. and Mrs. Devens, and am now established in a back chamber a pleasant enough and comfortable little room. The windows have a better prospect than those of tinformer chamber, for I can see the summit of the hill on which Gardner Greene's estate was situated; it is the highest point of the city, and the boys at play on it are painted strongly against the sky. No roof ascends as high as this nothing but the steeple of the Park-street church, which points upward behind it. It is singular that such a hill should have been suffered to remain so long, in the very heart of the city; it affects me somewhat as if a portion of the original forest were still growing here. But they are fast digging it away now; and it they continue their labors, I shall soon be able to see the Park-street steeple as far downward as the dial. Moreover, in another direction, I can see the top of the dome of the State-House; and if my Dove were to take wing and alight there (the easiest thing in the world for a dove to do) she might look directly into my window, and see me writing this letter. I glance thither as I write, but can see no Dove there. [the remainder of the letter is missing]