21 August

Its refreshment is but another mode of torment

August 21. [1840]

Last night I slept like a child of five years old, and had no dreams at all, unless just before it was time to rise, and I have forgotten what those dreams were. After I was fairly awake this morning, I felt very bright and airy, and was glad that I had been compelled to snatch two additional hours of existence from annihilation. The sun s disc was but half above the ocean s verge when I ascended the ship's side. These early morning hours are very lightsome and quiet. Almost the whole day I have been in the shade, reclining on a pile of sails, so that the life and spirit are not entirely worn out of me. . . The wind has been east this afternoon, perhaps in the forenoon, too, and I could not help feeling refreshed, when the gentle chill of its breath stole over my cheek. I would fain abominate the east wind, . . . but it persists in doing me kindly offices now and then. What a perverse wind it is! Its refreshment is but another mode of torment.

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